excommunication that the Gra signed was valid.

In terms of getting ahead of the curve ball, I went to two yeshivas. [It was clear to me the secular world lacked numinous value]. It was not to get a living or anything but for the sake of Torah. But I thought also that it was important to be part of the Torah world. 

For all I knew this would have remained the case as long as I was part of the Torah world. That is the social context made a big difference. Somehow we left the Lithuanian yeshiva world and then the context changed. The world we joined was low in IQ and character. And certainly not moral. That caused everything to fall apart. And then all my ex wife could think about all the time was how to get revenge on me and hurt me and talk about how all that matters is money to the children. So the children grew up in a kind of low environment--very different than the kind of world I had hoped to raise them in. What to do about it now? 

Of course all the trouble could have been avoided if I had simply assumed the excommunication that the Gra signed  was valid. Problem solved. Don't associate yourself with lowlifes and criminal scum that pretend to be holy.