When things do not go my way I wonder what I did wrong. After all this is an open Gemara in tractate Shabat אין ייסורים בלי עוון "there are no troubles without sin."

I figure that my major sins are probably hidden from me since that is the nature of sin--to cloud one's vision. Still, I figure that at least there are a few I am well aware of. And I think that if I could at least correct some of the smaller ones, maybe I could eventually get to the bigger ones.

So I came up with a list of four major sins that I am sure were really sins. Not just from book learning, but from results of those sins. When I went through this process in my mind I think I was in Uman, Then sometime later I decided to add a fifth sin to the list--bitul Torah [not learning Torah when one can]. Or more exactly walking away from the straight path of the Gra and Musar of Israel Salanter. 

The other four I am not sure if I should write down here because they might not be applicable to others. However, I do not think I have really been able to correct the sin of bitul Torah very well. And even to suggest to others how to go about avoiding bitul Torah does not seem simple. To support yeshivas that walk in  the path of the Gra should be the simplest way, or to start one's own group that walks in the path of the Gra.  [There are some places like that. For example the Aderet Eliyahu in the old city of Jerusalem. Then there are Litvak yeshivas which tend towards the Gra to some degree. Those are a mixed bunch. Some Litvak yeshivas are great like Ponovitch and Brisk. [I myself was at Shar Yashuv and the Mir in NY and both I think are also very great. Both were learning in depth but in  different ways. Shar Yashuv was like looking at Tosphot through an electron microscope. The Mir in NY was like  looking at Shas in a global way--something like you will see in the books of Rav Chaim of Brisk or the Avi Ezri]