In my apartment [in Ukraine] besides the home owner here coming in every few days to steal money and any kind of alcohol he had a son who is criminally insane who made it his business to steal from me and break down my door and steal from the other students in this dormitory.
For one one year things went kind of unnoticed. [The criminal was stealing but not too much.] I was basically alone. The second year students started showing up. and the criminal would steal stuff from me and them on a constant basis--a computer, cell phones, money, products in the refrigerator and basically anything of value. [a motor cycle that one fellow bought and lots of other stuff.]. How did it become clear who was doing it? He asked money for the stolen good in order to return them.
Dealing with the criminal made the actual home owner seem like a saint to me.
I told the landlady that her son is a problem, I called him the "Narcoman" because the first year I was here he came up every night with his friends to do drugs.
At one point I asked God for guidance. I have a "girl friend" that invited me to stay with her. There is a pastor in this city that made it clear I could live in his guest room. He had already invited me before, but when I actually had to move it was the winter and he said it was not heated and and he was just then finishing to build it.
[My mental state was such that also because I was going to Reb Nachman's grave site and there is a profusion of insane people that that I was very tense.I like Reb Nachman's teachings but there are kelipot [evil forces] there and I would have to go into the mikveh with my clothing to get off the bad feelings I had from the people there. [I do not go there anymore.]
It was at that time that had begun to learn Musar/Ethics. I asked a fellow from Israel to bring to me a few books of Musar/Ethics.
I saw in a book of Musar/Ethics the idea of trust in God so along with prayer I decide not to move unless actually physically forced to. That is I trusted in God to do for me hat needed to be done. That is trust with no effort.
The land lady asked me to stay when I told her I was thinking of moving. It was she was kind of pleading with me. Not just asking.
For two more years the criminal kept coming up to see what he could steal and I was growing more and more unhappy and getting OCD.. The more he would touch stuff the moire I felt I had to go to the mikveh when I touched something that he touched. That is I felt he is possessed by an evil kelipa.
[Because theft was considered OK to him I did not think he would ever get any better. I think once a person believes theft is OK then nothing will help him.]
Right before Rosh Hashanah he was put into the local home for the insane.
Now I am in a situation of great thanks and gratitude towards God. Ho I feel recovery will be a slow and difficult process.
Thanks for reading this and sharing my experience with me.
I am still very nervous when I hear any kind of male voices outside my door. I should however mention that trust in God and also the fact that God was granting to me to be basically productive in my room caused me to hesitant. God has granted to me great gifts that I am eternally thankful to Him for like Music and learning Physics and Torah and even writing some ideas in Torah.
For one one year things went kind of unnoticed. [The criminal was stealing but not too much.] I was basically alone. The second year students started showing up. and the criminal would steal stuff from me and them on a constant basis--a computer, cell phones, money, products in the refrigerator and basically anything of value. [a motor cycle that one fellow bought and lots of other stuff.]. How did it become clear who was doing it? He asked money for the stolen good in order to return them.
Dealing with the criminal made the actual home owner seem like a saint to me.
I told the landlady that her son is a problem, I called him the "Narcoman" because the first year I was here he came up every night with his friends to do drugs.
At one point I asked God for guidance. I have a "girl friend" that invited me to stay with her. There is a pastor in this city that made it clear I could live in his guest room. He had already invited me before, but when I actually had to move it was the winter and he said it was not heated and and he was just then finishing to build it.
[My mental state was such that also because I was going to Reb Nachman's grave site and there is a profusion of insane people that that I was very tense.I like Reb Nachman's teachings but there are kelipot [evil forces] there and I would have to go into the mikveh with my clothing to get off the bad feelings I had from the people there. [I do not go there anymore.]
It was at that time that had begun to learn Musar/Ethics. I asked a fellow from Israel to bring to me a few books of Musar/Ethics.
I saw in a book of Musar/Ethics the idea of trust in God so along with prayer I decide not to move unless actually physically forced to. That is I trusted in God to do for me hat needed to be done. That is trust with no effort.
The land lady asked me to stay when I told her I was thinking of moving. It was she was kind of pleading with me. Not just asking.
For two more years the criminal kept coming up to see what he could steal and I was growing more and more unhappy and getting OCD.. The more he would touch stuff the moire I felt I had to go to the mikveh when I touched something that he touched. That is I felt he is possessed by an evil kelipa.
[Because theft was considered OK to him I did not think he would ever get any better. I think once a person believes theft is OK then nothing will help him.]
Right before Rosh Hashanah he was put into the local home for the insane.
Now I am in a situation of great thanks and gratitude towards God. Ho I feel recovery will be a slow and difficult process.
Thanks for reading this and sharing my experience with me.
I am still very nervous when I hear any kind of male voices outside my door. I should however mention that trust in God and also the fact that God was granting to me to be basically productive in my room caused me to hesitant. God has granted to me great gifts that I am eternally thankful to Him for like Music and learning Physics and Torah and even writing some ideas in Torah.
