I think that to stick with the path of straight Torah requires a test. Or at least that might have been the case with me. For I certainly tasted the taste of Torah in Shar Yashuv and the Mir in NY. But all that time I would say the book of prayers of Rav Natan, the disciple of Rav Nahman. So I was aware of the light of straight Torah of the Gra , but also had a feeling for the teachings of Rav Nahman.
The most obvious approach would have been to hold onto the good in each path. I however got off on a tangent. So today I would like to correct that fault--but that apparently is easier said than done. And furthermore, it still seems to me to be unclear how to strike a proper balance. Still the rule seems to be that if one has merited to be in a straight Litvak yeshiva that walks in the path of the Gra, one should never leave that under any circumstances. For that is where the real light of Torah is. But on the side I see learning the ideas and good advice of Rav Nahman to be helpful.
It seems to me that in the religious world there are many people that pretend to learn Torah for the sake of money or to get some sort of stupid job. But these are not people that have tasted the light of Torah. --even though these are the vast majority of the religious world that need their show and public performance of their great devotion in order to make money. For simple people like me, we might ask why is there such a tremendous need of the religious to show off their great religiosity? Perhaps because it is not for God, but rather for men to gain jobs using Torah as their means of making money.
i might mention that Rav Nahman himself made a point to warn people about the Torah scholars who are demons which are the vast majority or the religious authorities.] And it is well known in Breslov the problem of the מפורסמים של שקר the famous and great religious authorities who are in fact demons.--even the authorities in Breslov itself.]
{This explains the serious problem that the religious world is quite lunatic(as is all too obvious). The reason is not from any lack of sincerity, but rather that they follow leaders who are demons. sadly, the true Torah scholars in the Litvak yeshivot do not object. --so secular Jews think that everyone agrees with the demons. That reminds me of the incident of Kamtza and Bar-Kamtza in which you see there is a need to object against the Torah scholars that are demons--even if you know that no one will listen.
Baali teshuva [newly religious] are probably the reason the religious world is somewhat insane. The problem is this: how can you trust anyone who has abandoned the path of their parents? If they can betray once, they can betray again.
