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26.4.16

religious teachers against marriage and dating

Do not let religious teachers use a shiduch [marriage and dating] as a way to trap and control you. That is common practice with religious teachers and is extremely dangerous. The one and most important principle of my Dad was to be self sufficient. He would have seen through the religious teachers attempts to control people by means of the manipulations of the shiduch as extremely disgusting and would have run from them as fast as possible.

Appendix: The background here is they try make sure no one can meet a girl without their approval on an official shiduch [marriage offer]. They try to break up marriages they do not approve of; especially when one spouse is their follower and the other not. 



There are I think exceptions among people so devoted to Torah that they simply have to learn Torah all day and have no choice but to accept a kollel check. That I think is fine and even admirable. But they are people that learn Torah all day. They are not religious teachers.  

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This is just an example of a larger problem I have mentioned before that every area of value--when it deteriorates, does not become less. It becomes opposite.