I wish some marriages were stronger nowadays. But to get to that point it is important to keep definitions accurate.
Adultery ניאוף is sex with a married woman. See Leviticus 20:10 when it defines adultery as sex with a married woman.
Sex outside of marriage is mentioned in Exodus where it says if one has sex with a unmarried girl he must marry her unless her father objects. If it would be adultery then both would get the death penalty as it says in Leviticus. זנות prostitution is a different issue. It is sex for money. However there is the case of a woman who is specifically for one man but not married . That is a girl friend. This is allowed in the Old Testament. That is פלגש Concubine.
The Patriarchs had girl friends. And also Caleb Ben Yephuna the friend of Joshua also[Chronicles I 2:46] [The Gra brings the example of Caleb.]
To argue that all sex outside marriage is adultery is not accurate.
In the Shulhan Aruch of Rav Joseph Karo is brought the debate between the Rambam against most other Rishonim. The Rambam says what you find in the Old Testament refers to kings. But that is hard to defend in the case of Caleb ben Yephuna. The Ramban wrote that more authentic copies of the Rambam have that the girl friend is allowed.
There is something nowadays that is odd when it comes to marriage. Fragile, yet like being in an oven. For previous generations I can see it was the basis of everything. But nowadays it is like soggy toast.
I think it is fine to depend on the opinions of the vast majority of Rishonim that hold a girl friend is permissible, But I admit I never did any deep learning in this subject.
Adultery ניאוף is sex with a married woman. See Leviticus 20:10 when it defines adultery as sex with a married woman.
Sex outside of marriage is mentioned in Exodus where it says if one has sex with a unmarried girl he must marry her unless her father objects. If it would be adultery then both would get the death penalty as it says in Leviticus. זנות prostitution is a different issue. It is sex for money. However there is the case of a woman who is specifically for one man but not married . That is a girl friend. This is allowed in the Old Testament. That is פלגש Concubine.
The Patriarchs had girl friends. And also Caleb Ben Yephuna the friend of Joshua also[Chronicles I 2:46] [The Gra brings the example of Caleb.]
To argue that all sex outside marriage is adultery is not accurate.
In the Shulhan Aruch of Rav Joseph Karo is brought the debate between the Rambam against most other Rishonim. The Rambam says what you find in the Old Testament refers to kings. But that is hard to defend in the case of Caleb ben Yephuna. The Ramban wrote that more authentic copies of the Rambam have that the girl friend is allowed.
There is something nowadays that is odd when it comes to marriage. Fragile, yet like being in an oven. For previous generations I can see it was the basis of everything. But nowadays it is like soggy toast.
I think it is fine to depend on the opinions of the vast majority of Rishonim that hold a girl friend is permissible, But I admit I never did any deep learning in this subject.
