To get to Torah you have to go through Hell and back

Though I was born and raised in an exceptional home I felt very unsatisfied in high school.

When I got to yeshiva in NY I felt like I was breathing free air for the first time. When the Torah declares itself "the good and the life", I really felt this.

Not just me. but when I called a friend I had in high school, and told her about yeshiva, she too was filled with this sense of urgency and meaning.

This experience was overpowering. But I have not been able, and still am not able to recommend it because of reasons beyond my ability to control.
I was myself, perhaps, not worthy of Torah. And thus, I found people supposedly in the Torah world whose character left something to be desired. Morally challenged people. If I had myself been worthy this never would have happened.

It says in the Torah God put the fiery sword on the path to the Tree of Life so that Adam and Eve would not go back and eat from it and live forever. To get to Torah you have to go through the trials of fire and water, and the people that stand in the way. The charlatans that make a show of keeping Torah -for profit.