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10.4.17

I had a kind of history with the Bava Sali family.

I had a kind of history with the Bava Sali family. His daughter saw in me a great responsibility for Klal Israel, but I could not figure out what that is supposed to mean. When I look back on it and try to decipher  what kind of responsibility that implies I find I can not figure it out.  What my best guess is that she thought I could help to influence the world towards these simple things, Tur, Beit Joseph Shulchan Aruch and Musar. That is the basic Lithuanian yeshiva path but with an extra emphasis on Halacha and Musar [classical Musar means medieval books of ethics like the חובות לבבות, שערי תשובה, ספר היראה המיוחס לרבינו תם,  אורחות צדיקים מסילת ישרים וספר מוסר של הרמ''ק].

I should mention that Bava Sali did not want to see any mystics when he came to Jerusalem and was accepting visitors that wanted blessings and advice from him. He gave explicit instructions not to let anyone with a name as a mystic in. 
This to me seems to indicate exactly what is brought in the Ari, that the secrets of the Torah--that is the Eitz Chaim is not for anyone, but only those that live a life of great sanctity. 

[Whatever responsibility she saw in me I do not think I fulfilled. Nowhere  near. I seem to have dropped the ball. The hard thing to understand about this is thus: I feel that I had dropped the ball a long time ago, long before I met her. But apparently she thought there was still something I could and should do.]