In what Rav Nahman calls hisbodadut [private talking with God in one's own language] it is helpful to go ovr one's own past to get some orientation about where one went wrong. Over the course of time one can begin to see where things really went wrong. So you are no longer confined to deciding what your sins are based on books but rather actual experience. If you can tell where things started to go wrong, then you can reach some conclusion what was your actual sin. In this way you get beyond guess work about what perhaps you did wrong to actual knowledge. [An obvious choice could be the commandment to listen to one's parents except when they are obviously saying something that goes not in accord with Torah. Still in general one parents provides the best guidance to what one ought to be doing]
