Rosh Hashanah was the time I first learned the Or Israel (Light of Israel) of Isaac Blazer (a disceple of Israel Salanter). So though I had heard of Musar before that, still that was the time that I understood the reasoning behind the Musar movement.
And though that was more than  a few years back, it still makes the most sense to me. So what I suggest is to get the basic set of Medieaval Ethics books and plow through them. That is do every day a little bit. A page when you get up before you start your day. And also a page or two during the day to keep up the effect of fear of God.

But make sure you get authentic Musar --not the cheap knock offs or inferior copies.
The later in time period Musar gets, the more diluted it gets. People write so called Musar books with all kinds of strange agendas in mind or to make up for their own guilt complexes. None of it is straight Torah. To get to authentic Torah nowadays is  basically impossible. Everyone has some agenda and they use the name of Torah to advance it. The more religious they seem, the more you can be sure there is some hidden agenda. The old Lithuanian yeshivas where Torah was authentic are mainly gone. You only have left a hand-full of places like Ponovitch in Bnei Brak or the Mir Yeshiva in NY. [Apparently some of these places have branches. I have a friend who was a teacher in a branch of Ponovitch in Jerusalem. So I admit I don't know where all the authentic places are. What makes a place authentic is not what you see on the surface. It is not if physically they are learning Torah all day. What makes a place authentic is a reason why they are learning Torah all day.

Music for the glory of God

n8

n1


n3

Black Hole
n5


Mathematics

Organ piece

Orchestra piece


CHS

I don't always make it a point to thank God publicly for his kindnesses.
Usually I leave that to be between Him and me. That He granted to me to write two booklets on the Gemara is something so out of the expected that I have to say that I am overwhelmed with this. There really is not known to me any reason why God would grant this amazing and tremendous merit to fall to me. I am really not any good in learning Talmud and I hardly even do so at all. It is just for some reason that is unknown to me I was a disciple of authentic Torah scholars  and was born into a home of amazing fear of God and wholesomeness and love and I was granted a learning partner with whom the ideas just seem to flow. So I publicly  acknowledge my debt to God for doing for me yet another two kindness for which there is no clear reason for. [The truth the same could be said about my children and my whole amazing family and the music he has granted to me and grants to me and to be able to learn Physics at all, and to be in Uman right before Rosh HaShanna. For all these and the many more kindness he has granted to me I thank him openly.]

I can pin point the four areas where I have to do repentance easily. But how to go about correcting these wrongs is not simple. As we  see with מעפילים לעלות. Moses said,  "Go to Israel" and the spies said "No." So people decided not to go. The God got mad. So what would be the natural reaction? To repent right? The sin was not to go, so they decided yes to go. And it was perfect repentance. Because they did not want to because they thought God would not help them. So true repentance was to go even though they knew that God would not help them. [That we normally say that repentance is true when one is in  the same situation he sinned in but this time he does not sin.] But we know what happened. They went up and were killed.

The sages of the Talmud said the same thing. "The letter ה is open on the bottom so anyone who wants can fall. But to get back in one needs to go through the upper opening. By why not get back in the same way he fell? לא אסתיא מילתא It won't work."

But at least I can say my repentance revolves around  major points. My parents, the land of Israel, Isaac Luria. Lack of learning Torah might be included also but I don't have an exact proof of that as I do for the other four. {ביטול תורה כנגד כולם}. That is the lack of learning Torah is considered as bad as the three major sins plus gossip. The three major ones are idolatry, murder, and the sexual relationship forbidden in Leviticus.





Of course I know there are probably millions of wrongs and bad thoughts and words and deeds I do all the time. But here I am looking for the major areas of interest. 

I had to add a little to the essays on Sanhedrin 61 and the part about my chavruta's question was not written rightly. I had to correct it.

At that point in the Talmud's logic השתחוויה is coming to forbid quadrant 2 and 3 which leaves quadrant 4 open for איכה יעבדו to forbid.

"Don't sacrifice to idols."

Introduction: The Gemara forbids area I and III [see diagram below] by means of How do they serve? [That is service in its way and in the way of honor] And it forbids part of area II (three kinds of service) because of, "Don't sacrifice to idols." [that is service not in its way but in the way of honor] (See the diagram at the bottom of the page.) And it uses "Don't bow" for itself. The Gemara asks, "Why not use, 'Don't bow' to forbid all of area II?" And it gives and answer. But in the meantime someone asks, "If we would use 'Don't bow' to forbid area II (all kinds of honor), then what would how do they serve come to permit?"

The Baal HaMeor and Tosphot both ask, "Why did he not ask the same question when we were learning from 'Don't sacrifice?'" Certainly sacrifice permits even more than bowing so it should be even more of a strong question.




I was looking at my old notes on Sanhedrin 61 and I noticed something odd. It is this: why is it that there is a question on the Gemara by both Tosphot and the Baal HaMeor? I forgot the whole sugia but just glancing at my notes I began to wonder why is it that there is any problem with the Gemara that needs to be answered?
Why cant we say זביחה forbids one thing and permits something else. And איכה יעבדו also forbids one thing and permits something else? I mean to say  זביחה forbids a small section of quadrant II and permits the rest of quadrant II. and איכה יעבדו forbids all of quadrant I and IV and permits all of quadrant III.

I am not saying this is unanswerable, Rather it is clear that everything permitted by sacrifice is also permitted by איכה יעבדו. And the same goes for if you would permit all quadrant III by means of השתחווייה.  So in one sense the question of the Baal HaMeor and Tosphot makes sense. All I am wondering is why this would not be the simplest answer?

My question is really more to the Baal HaMeor because he in fact uses זביחה in a limited sense.But  he answers in a way that divides up quadrant II in three sections.

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הקדמה: The גמרא forbids  רביע השני והשלישי  by means of איכה יעבדו. And it forbids part of רביע השני that is שלש עבודות פנימיות because of זביחה.  And it uses לא תשתחווה for itself. The גמרא asks Why not use לא תשתחווה to forbid all of רביע השני? And it gives an answer. But in the meantime someone asks if we would use לא תשתחווה to forbid רביע שני, then what would איכה יעבדו come to permit?

The בעל המאור and תוספות both ask, why did he not ask the same question when we were learning from זביחה. Certainly זביחה permits even more than השתטחות so it should be even more of a strong question.




I was looking at my old notes on סנהדרין סא and I noticed something odd. It is this: why is it that there is a question on the גמרא by both  בעל המאור and תוספות? Why is it that there is any problem with the גמרא that needs to be answered?
Why can't we say זביחה forbids one thing and פוטר something else? And איכה יעבדו also מחייב one thing and פוטר something else? I mean to say  זביחה forbids a small section of רביע השני and פוטר the rest of רביע השני, and איכה יעבדו forbids all of רביע ראשון ורביעי and פוטר all of רביע השלישי?

I am not saying this is unanswerable. Rather it is clear that everything פטור by sacrifice is also פטור by איכה יעבדו. And the same goes for if you would פוטר all רביע השלישי by means of השתחווייה.  So in one sense the question of the  בעל המאור and תוספות makes sense. All I am wondering is why this would not be the simplest answer?

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הקדמה: גמרא אוסרת רביע שני ושלישי באמצעות איכה יעבדו.  ואוסרת חלק מרביע השני שהוא שלש עבודות פנימיות בגלל זביחה. והיא משתמשת עם לא תשתחווה לעצמו. הגמרא שואלת למה לא להשתמש עם לא תשתחווה לאסור כל הרביע השני? והיא נותנת תשובה. אבל בינתיים מישהו שואל אם היינו משתמשים עם לא תשתחווה לאסור רביע השני, אז מה היה איכה יעבדו באה להתיר? בעל המאור ותוספות שואלים, למה הוא לא שואל את אותה השאלה כאשר אנו לומדים מזביחה? בהחלט זביחה פוטרת אפילו יותר מהשתטחות, כך זה צריך להיות עוד יותר שאלה חזקה. אני מסתכל על ההערות הישנות שלי בסנהדרין סא והבחנתי במשהו מוזר. זהו זה: למה יש שאלה על הגמרא על ידי בעל המאור ותוספות? למה יש בעיה כלשהי עם הגמרא שצריכה להיות עונה? למה אנחנו לא יכולים לומר זביחה אוסרת דבר אחד ופוטרת משהו אחר? ואיכה יעבדו גם מחייבת דבר אחד ופוטרת משהו אחר? אני מתכוון לומר זביחה אוסרת סעיף קטן של הרביע שני ופוטרת שאר רביע השני, ואיכה יעבדו אוסרת כל הרביע הראשון ורביעי ופוטרת כל רביע השלישי?

אני לא אומר שזה חסר מענה. ברור שכל מה שפטור על ידי זביחה גם  פטור  ידי איכה יעבדו. וכנ"ל לגבי אם אתה  פוטר  כל רביע השלישי באמצעות השתחווייה. אז במובן אחד השאלה של בעל המאור  ותוספות  הגיונית. כל מה שאני תוהה למה זו לא תהיה התשובה הפשוטה?

My Hebrew teachers in Temple Israel in Hollywood never got very far with Torah  since the program there was very limited. Besides Hebrew, you had to learn Old Testament stories and general Jewish history and that was all on Shabat morning. It was a lot to fit into Shabat morning.


And once I got to my first Lithuanian yeshiva in NY, grammar was not a priority. Rather Gemara in depth is what they concentrated on there. And that seems to me to be a good idea, but it also means I had to pick up grammar much later.]

 [I have noticed that people that don't do Talmud in depth in their first two yeshiva years, never get the idea afterwards. So I definitely advocate learning Gemara in depth before anything else.]

A drop of the infinite depths of Tosphot and the Gemara itself is the most important thing to learn before anything.