I think I had a kind of attachment with God when I got to Israel after some years of study in the great Litvak Yeshivot of NY. But I have never been able to figure out "what it meant". Was there some sort of special mission for for or what?  In mystic writings this kind of "Devekut" attachment is referred to as attachment to the Infinite Light. אור אין סוף. It does not say a lot but it is is indicative of what happens when the ight of the Next World Seeps into this world.

The best clarity I came to about this issue was when I began to consider that "Reason" alone can not justify Torah. There is a gap. So for about ten days I realized that questions on Torah were not all motivated by hearts that were not seeking the truth. So I wondered what justification for Torah could there be? Then I discovered the web site of Dr Kelley Ross who answers this in this way. There is a third source of knowledge [ besides empirical and besides reason.]

I was reminded of this because Ronen a friend of mine here has said to me a few times that he can not see the Litvak approach ["Learning Torah is the best thing"] as anything but an intellectual approach.

I have tried to explain to him  that there is a sort of Divine light that comes along with learning simple and plain Gemara Tosphot and the Maharsha.