I mean to say that while I was in Israel I was open to the value of the "Infinite Light," which all content but no form. However, I was obviously lacking in almost all other areas of positive value.
So I can see why the program in my high school emphasized different areas of value. That is I have come to see the value of balance. For you might say that attachment with God is the highest value, so once one has come to any level of that (even just a drop of the Infinite Light), that that should be that. He has come to the goal. But apparently things do not work like that. One can have that highest value, but without balance, it seems inevitable that one (or at least I) will lose it. The approach that I think might have helped I think is that of learning Torah. Probably my lack of that in Safed, probably caused my mistake in thinking abandoning the Divine Light would be good and necessary thing to do,
To anyone familiar with the book of Reb Chaim From Voloshin,[נפש החיים] this will come as no surprise. He already stated this fact long ago about the importance of learning Torah. He puts it slightly differently.
The way he puts it is based on the Gemara Yerushalmi where it says that all the mitzvot do not equal the value of just one single word of learning Torah.[That in turn is based on the Mishna over there in Peah]. The way Reb Chaim puts it is this that even if one fulfills all the other mitzvot with the highest level of Love and Fear of God and Attachment with God and true Devekut.--that does not equal the value of learning one single word of Torah. At first glance it is hard to understand this, but now I get the idea. The devekut only comes through learning Torah.
Based on this Gemara Yerushalmi and my own experience, I would have to say I did not attribute a much importance to learning Torah as I should have.
[The challenge now would be to see if there is any possible integration of Dr Ross's Kantian system with Hegel? ]
I am not suggesting anything that would fix things at this point. Rather I take the basic balanced approach of the Rambam of learning the Oral and Written Law, Physics and Metaphysics as being the ideal to strive for.