vindictive ex-wives

Here is an amazing comment I saw on blog called judgybitch.com in answer to a feminist.



" I've thought long and hard on your remarks before composing this reply. Unfortunately you are right that a growing number of children are growing up fatherless here in the US and in the UK, innocent casualties of the divorces imposed on them by their mothers and fathers.
I will only speak as a divorced father and no one else. During the divorce process (in the mid 1980s, not recently) I was told by my attorney that in 98% of the cases, the mother was automatically awarded primary custody; my wanting to fight her in court over custody for my kids was an almost sure loss for me. He was right.

Being the stubborn bastard that I can be sometimes, I STILL wanted to fight for my children regardless of what the lawyer said. Ah, then during a very brief meeting with one of my soon to be ex-brother-in-laws it was told to me that if I persisted in contesting for custody of my children, I would be accused to sexually abusing them to ensure I would remain in the justice system until bankrupted. This was not a veiled threat, but plainly spoken to let me know the cost. So to answer part of your remarks; I would have dearly LOVED and cherished the opportunity to raise my own children.


" Why not make a father raise the child if the mother is financially unable to." I only wish to god that I could have had the chance to raise them myself, no one would have had to twist my arm to provide for my own little ones.

Please, before thinking that men can easily walk away from their kids, consider that they might be forcibly driven away by the vindictive ex-wives, and not of their own choice."

abuse of authority under the guise of holiness

I think that in fact people got fed up with abuse of authority. They said it is better for people to be open sinners than sinners under the guise of holiness.

women lie about rape

I had an amazing childhood

I had an amazing childhood and teen age years with my parents. The only real pain I had was being dumped by my girlfriend, Wendy, for another friend. Sex was  unheard of in those days, though in high school one girl was thought to be in that regard. But  she was the only one. And she was limited to her own boyfriend. For that reason I wonder why I felt the need to rebel against my parents except for the fact that that was the social thing to do in those days. I suppose it still is. I was vaguely aware of American culture going downhill in that way. Still I am shocked by some of the stories of people I read about.

I can see why people thought being part of the religious world would provide insulation against the secular trends. The truth though is the opposite. [People should learn Torah, but not assume that those that claim to teach it are holy. The opposite is  the case. There seems to be an overflow in the religious world of vicious, cruel, and stupid people that you would generally not except to find there.
The religious world provides an illusion of being  immune. In fact, I believe it is more corrupt--though more hidden.

[I also had a great deal of pain and frustration that I was not very good in math, though later I developed  a taste for it. I did not get smarter, I just developed  a taste for it.] Now that I think of it  my frustration at my lack of abilities was probably more painful than being dumped by Wendy. But both things were the most painful things I had ever gone through.

Don't think that I wrote some decent books on the Talmud,  that makes me smart. I had amazing teachers and a really great learning partner that showed me the way.

Marriage in secular USA

Marriage in secular USA and the West has been a bad deal for a long time. It can be assumed that this fact  has been a major factor in in rise of yeshivas that pretend to promote family values.
It  is a simply case of push and pull. The secular world is obviously sick. That is a force to push out. The force to pull in is the way Lithuanian yeshivas used to be in Europe when the stress on family values was real. But transplanting that has not worked.

Thus what I recommend is not to depend on the system anymore. Rather learn Torah and a vocation at the same time and serve in the IDF and do not make excuses.

Avi Preder suggested to me the idea of a "Beit Midrash" (study hall) as opposed to a yeshiva.
That is to say I am not the only one to see that while the yeshivas were idealistic at one time, they were ruined by success.

[I think the Torah alone approach is simply not the best approach from several angles. Though it worked for great people like Rav Shach and Reb Aaron Kotler, it does not seem to produce the high kind of individual you would hope for.

People feel the need for a holy man, a shaman, to intercede. This need people try to use for their advantage for themselves and their yeshivas. They want people to feel good about themselves when they give money that worthy cause. In most cases it is not a worthy cause, but a scam.

"family values."

Yeshiva did have an element of shiduch --finding a good marriage partner involved with it. That was an unspoken incentive. The trouble is the same that caused the downfall of the power of religious authority in the secular world. Abuse of power. It got to be just another scheme to get power of over people by the pretense of "family values." Yeah, right. "Family values" for the head of the dog pack and his buddies. "Eat dirt" for everyone else.
You can see why people  [including me] think they are better off not having religious maniacs telling them what to do.

Muslims to the USA.

Americans were not aware of the problems involved in bringing Muslims to the USA. Most people had visited, "Its a small world after all," [which I have to mention is a song made by Mozart, but not the words.] Americans including myself were very naive about what Muslims are all about. And once a person is in that mind set, it is very difficult to get free of it. (It took a good deal of attacks on my person for me to start getting the message. And even then it took time for the message to start sinking in.)