Ideas in Bava Metzia ch.s 8 and 9
It is a terrible thought to note that he was begging people for help for years and no one wanted to help him. So he just laid down and died. [He was asking his family to come live with him and no one wanted to--even me. At best I wrote to him he should come to me in Israel, but he obviously needed help even to do so. ] I hope that since he had no place in this world, that at least God will find a place for him in the next. Where no one else found a place in their heart for him that God will find a place for him in His and in Gan Eden.
But to say this to family members is hard to decide. Those that know, already know. So why make them feel worse? Those that do not know will just find someone else to blame.[Just like I am doing. Instead of asking ,''Why did I not help?,'' I ask, ''Why others did not help?"]
The problem is that humans -given the right set of circumstances-- can be incredibly kind or incredibly cruel. All I can do now is to dedicate any good deed I will ever do for his sake to have a place in the Garden of Eden. Perhaps also to do review 400 times every lesson in Mathematics, Physics and the Avi Ezri of Rav Shach.
The point of concentrating on positive things that I can do, is that if I think overly much about what I did wrong, I am likely to go insane.
