The law of a מורדת [a wife that refuses sex to her husband] is not well known so I thought to bring some of the details.[Even though there is a lot of things in this subject that are confusing to me.] In the Mishna itself you only get the bare outlines of the subject. But in the Tur and the Shulhan Aruch of Rav Joseph Karo you get a lot more details--surprising details in fact.
The first thing that is a surprise is that this law applies to a woman that wants a divorce.
So since I have little time and no computer [except on borrowed time from a friend] I would like to write the basic ideas.
The first category is a woman that refuses her husband but wants her ketubah. and she says מאיס עלי.[That is she claims she is not able to live with him anymore because he is wasting all his money or that she simply can not have sex with him because of disgust.]
That category gets the regular law of a rebellious wife that loses her ketubah. [There is a announcement in the local synagogue that she is a rebellious wife and she will lose her ketubah for four weeks. then after 4 weeks some say she loses her whole ketubah right away and some say only after 12 months.
The next category is she does not ask for the ketubah. She still get the same law but she does not have to live with him. In the first category she is forced to work for him.
In any case this is certainly one of those areas that are sensitive and sadlly no very well known.
[During those four weeks there seems to be a degree of confusion how much she loses of her ketunah every week. Or at least I can not figure it out. It seems to be 7 dinars [a dinar equals silver of the weight of 12 barley beans. That is a dinar in the time of the Talmud. But a dinar of the Torah is 8 times more. But it seems that everyone agrees it is a dinar of the Talmud period. The problem that I am having here is the next opinion in the mishna that says she loses a "tarpik" and the Rav of Bartenura explains that to be a tarpik of the Torah. So I can not figure of if he is thinking the dinar also is of the Torah of not.]
[I had to go through this kind of thing myself and the sad thing is that my wife was talked into getting rid of me by the religious leaders that present themselves as being pro family values. So I saw first hand what a lot of people say about the Jewish religious world--that it is evil and insane and just the opposite of Torah values. Rav Nahman of Brslov already said as much but I simply did not pay attention to him until the facts presented themselves to me in the most harsh way possible. The religious make a big show of righteousness but the facts are very different.]
The first thing that is a surprise is that this law applies to a woman that wants a divorce.
So since I have little time and no computer [except on borrowed time from a friend] I would like to write the basic ideas.
The first category is a woman that refuses her husband but wants her ketubah. and she says מאיס עלי.[That is she claims she is not able to live with him anymore because he is wasting all his money or that she simply can not have sex with him because of disgust.]
That category gets the regular law of a rebellious wife that loses her ketubah. [There is a announcement in the local synagogue that she is a rebellious wife and she will lose her ketubah for four weeks. then after 4 weeks some say she loses her whole ketubah right away and some say only after 12 months.
The next category is she does not ask for the ketubah. She still get the same law but she does not have to live with him. In the first category she is forced to work for him.
In any case this is certainly one of those areas that are sensitive and sadlly no very well known.
[During those four weeks there seems to be a degree of confusion how much she loses of her ketunah every week. Or at least I can not figure it out. It seems to be 7 dinars [a dinar equals silver of the weight of 12 barley beans. That is a dinar in the time of the Talmud. But a dinar of the Torah is 8 times more. But it seems that everyone agrees it is a dinar of the Talmud period. The problem that I am having here is the next opinion in the mishna that says she loses a "tarpik" and the Rav of Bartenura explains that to be a tarpik of the Torah. So I can not figure of if he is thinking the dinar also is of the Torah of not.]
[I had to go through this kind of thing myself and the sad thing is that my wife was talked into getting rid of me by the religious leaders that present themselves as being pro family values. So I saw first hand what a lot of people say about the Jewish religious world--that it is evil and insane and just the opposite of Torah values. Rav Nahman of Brslov already said as much but I simply did not pay attention to him until the facts presented themselves to me in the most harsh way possible. The religious make a big show of righteousness but the facts are very different.]
