I am grateful to God for granting to me a girl friend. I fully understand that it is better to be married but the religious world made sure and doubly sure that that would not be. It is in that area that I found the religious world to be as evil as humanly possible. They say they are for family values but I would be married today if I had never had anything to do with them. Thinking that they keep the Torah just because they claim so is  a grave error. They did everything possible to hurt my family and since then I have learned to keep as far from them as possible.

It is however an interesting question to ask, "Why and from where this problem stems from?" But others have asked this and no one that I have ever heard of has given much of an answer. Reb Israel Salanter tried to deal with this issue.

My basic impression I have to say is that the closer people are to keeping the path of the Gra the closer they are to holiness and human decency. The main trouble seems to be when people ignore the signature of the Gra on the letter of excommunication.

I do not have much of  a theory for this--it is just my observation based on many years of experience.



In any case I just wanted to mention the basic idea of a girl friend is an argument among Rishonim. Rambam against.  All others are in favor. The Gra brings the verse about Calev ben Yefuna in Chronicles chap 2 verse 46 as a proof that a girl friend in allowed.