World view issues have always been important to me and when I was young I looked into a lot. West  and East. Mainly I settled on the Oral and Written Law.  The Oral Law has no claim to divinity except in so far as it is accurate in its rigorous in its analysis of the verse of the Torah. In so far as it is objectively accurate to that degree it partakes of the holiness of Torah. But as a philosophical backing of Torah I have taken it as an axiom that Saadia Gaon and the Rambam knew what kind of world view was implicit in Torah.
And their approach while having some implications of mystic experience is not mystical but philosophical-and thus subject to the same kind of critique that any philosophical world view is subject to. So Torah has to stand up to critique. The way I have defended Torah is mainly by defending the Rambam's exposition of it in the Guide.

But as a rule I should say almost all world views I have encountered have serious problems with them. Some are obviously circular reasoning. Some are less obviously so.

On choosing a good wife. essay from a blog

On choosing a good wife.

 Is she a good follower? Or does she constantly buck authority when a decision is made. How she interacts with authority is a good indicator, especially with her father.

Generally speaking, the “actions” of someone are a fair indicator of the state of their heart although I would state that attitude is a better indicator. Heart intentions always lead to actions. If there is good fruit from the actions, then it’s most likely their heart is in a good place.

However, actions can indeed be deceptive. This is why when you vet for a wife I suggest mainly vetting for character along with actions. How do you vet for character?

Character is really only revealed in difficult and/or morally compromising situations. Thus, the “real” person you’re looking at is:

• What they do when they’re angry?
• What do they do when they’ve been proven wrong?
• When they are at fault do they apologize and make amends or double down?
• How do they react under pressure filled situations?
• Are they gracious and humble?
• What do they do when someone is harassing them?
• How do they treat the people that do bad or evil to them?
• How does a girlfriend react when she’s angry with you AND you ask her to do something?
• Does she actually “follow” or retain control by “letting you lead?”

These are the types of things that are difficult but reveal a mature character:

As we live in first world countries, there are not many instances where actual life threatening difficulties befall us. Hence, we need to be vigilant in understanding that the few places where you can view someone’s character is what they are really like underneath the surface. Do not brush character concerns under the rug as these are the types of things that come back to haunt you.

What type of attitude do they take in all of these situations?

In marriage there is much good, but there’s always going to be difficulty. How are they going to respond to that when things get rough? Are they going to quit or reveal their bad character like they did in certain circumstances prior to marriage? Or are they going to reveal their good character, tough it out, and submit to God and to you?

Attitude reveals the heart’s desire. Are they for God AND for you, or are they against you? Sadly, women can be for God and against you because they can be deceived. You need to make sure that this is not the case, and that she will not persist in such a deception.

Finally, is she teachable and does she learn from her mistakes?

In marriage, both the husband and wife will grow and change over time. The most important thing is if she is teachable and willing to learn from her mistakes and not make them again.

If she is unteachable then it’s a waste of your time. Likewise, if she repeats the same mistakes over and over… you know what the Proverbs has to say about a fool and his folly.

These types of things are partly revelations of character. Teachability and learning from mistakes is a critical factor  because these are some of the concepts that underlie repentance. She may be  good otherwise, but can she also display these traits when she is with you. That is the question.

In my weltanschauung   the ethics of the Torah is root of the universe. This idea came about  from learning Musar [Ethics of the Torah], but I saw it later in Shalom Sharabi.
That is at least something I saw in the Alter of Slobadka openly. אור צפון. The Hidden Light. That was one of the writings of the disciples of  Reb Israel Salanter.  I saw this  right smack at the beginning in a very powerful way. I forget how he put it but it was along the lines that the sin of Adam was in character.

religious teachers against marriage and dating

Do not let religious teachers use a shiduch [marriage and dating] as a way to trap and control you. That is common practice with religious teachers and is extremely dangerous. The one and most important principle of my Dad was to be self sufficient. He would have seen through the religious teachers attempts to control people by means of the manipulations of the shiduch as extremely disgusting and would have run from them as fast as possible.

Appendix: The background here is they try make sure no one can meet a girl without their approval on an official shiduch [marriage offer]. They try to break up marriages they do not approve of; especially when one spouse is their follower and the other not. 



There are I think exceptions among people so devoted to Torah that they simply have to learn Torah all day and have no choice but to accept a kollel check. That I think is fine and even admirable. But they are people that learn Torah all day. They are not religious teachers.  

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This is just an example of a larger problem I have mentioned before that every area of value--when it deteriorates, does not become less. It becomes opposite.

r43 d minor   r43 midi format

r43 in nwc format

religious teacher. religion is away of seeming to be better than they are.

If you want to learn Torah you have to marry the daughter of an authentic Torah Scholar and do not hang out with the wrong crowd. It does not matter much one wants to learn Torah. If he marries a girl that is not the daughter of an  Litvish Talmid Chacham, it is impossible to learn Torah. You need to set your goals on the right kind of girl.

That is not the same thing as a religious teacher. religious teacher are the possessed by the force of anti Torah. I am talking about authentic Torah scholars which is very different kind of thing.


In the USA women are about as bad as possible. The Jewish world there is worse. And frum religious world makes no difference. If anything, it is a million times worse. One needs a בת תלמיד חכם [daughter of a true Torah scholar]. Or just a regular girl. But the danger is the religious world. Especially for someone that has no experience. 

When I was in Shar Yashuv my future wife [a girl I knew in high school] was sending letters to me and when I was in the Mir she was calling me sometimes every day and sometimes once every two days. She is not the daughter of a Torah Scholar which had the result that is usual. But she is was  a good shiduch anyway for other reasons. A Rav Getz and Arye Kaplan suggested to me to marry her. Arye Kaplan said, "If you wait for a shiduch from the frum world, they will offer you a בעלת מום (someone with something wrong with them) that you will not be able to discern until it is too late." That is, at least with her I knew her and her family very well and I knew her character. 

But for many people, religion is away of seeming to be better than they are.