I see marriage nowadays as problematic. 10 years seems to be the uppermost limit. So it seems to me the best idea is the "Piligesh" girl friend approach. And there really is nothing wrong with that. We see in דברי הימים Chronicles I 2:46 that Caleb [the friend of Joshua] had a few wives and girl friends.
This is a well known subject so there really is no need for me to go into it. (note 1) Since the majority of Rishonim [mediaeval authorities] allow a piligesh there is no reason to forbid it. I have heard some people suggest that it is in the category of ניאוף (adultery) which is certainly not true. Adultery is sexual relations with a woman who is married to somebody else.
But then you could ask about זונה prostitution. But the main definition of "Zona" [prostitute] which the Torah forbids to a priest is a woman who has had sexual relations with someone who is forbidden to her by a prohibition of the Torah. See tractate Yevamot.
(note 1) Just for a bit more information this comes up in the Tur. The Tur is the son of Rabbainu Asher the author of the Rosh pne of the major rishonim. In short the whole issue is an argument among rishonim and the Rosh himself seems to hold it is allowed but the problem he sees is the Mikve issue. So I might just add that for that reason it is worthwhile to be near a natural body of water--a sea or river.
The Raavad and Ramban (Nahmanides) both hold that relations with a girl friend is permitted. The opinion of the Rambam at first seems to forbid but the Ramban/Nahmanides brings a different version of the Rambam that holds it is allowed. In the Shulchan Aruch of Rabbeinu Yoseph Karo the opinion of the rishonim is brought as an argument between the "Mehaber" the author, Rav Juseph Karo and the "Rema" Rav Moshe Iserless. But as to the approach of Rav Joseph Karo, the Helkat Mehokek there says that at most it is an "isur ase" a negative command coming by force of a positive command איסור הבא מכלל עשה
This is a well known subject so there really is no need for me to go into it. (note 1) Since the majority of Rishonim [mediaeval authorities] allow a piligesh there is no reason to forbid it. I have heard some people suggest that it is in the category of ניאוף (adultery) which is certainly not true. Adultery is sexual relations with a woman who is married to somebody else.
But then you could ask about זונה prostitution. But the main definition of "Zona" [prostitute] which the Torah forbids to a priest is a woman who has had sexual relations with someone who is forbidden to her by a prohibition of the Torah. See tractate Yevamot.
(note 1) Just for a bit more information this comes up in the Tur. The Tur is the son of Rabbainu Asher the author of the Rosh pne of the major rishonim. In short the whole issue is an argument among rishonim and the Rosh himself seems to hold it is allowed but the problem he sees is the Mikve issue. So I might just add that for that reason it is worthwhile to be near a natural body of water--a sea or river.
The Raavad and Ramban (Nahmanides) both hold that relations with a girl friend is permitted. The opinion of the Rambam at first seems to forbid but the Ramban/Nahmanides brings a different version of the Rambam that holds it is allowed. In the Shulchan Aruch of Rabbeinu Yoseph Karo the opinion of the rishonim is brought as an argument between the "Mehaber" the author, Rav Juseph Karo and the "Rema" Rav Moshe Iserless. But as to the approach of Rav Joseph Karo, the Helkat Mehokek there says that at most it is an "isur ase" a negative command coming by force of a positive command איסור הבא מכלל עשה
