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One of the great Musar books Gates of Repentance

There are four major things that I can see I did wrong in hindsight. Leaving the Land of Israel, and the advice of Rav Nahman of Brelov, the kind of devekut [attachment with God] that I had while I  was in Safed. and the path of my parents.

This is important because, I decided that I would not try to see where my mistakes were based on books but rather based on what I saw that lead to terrible consequences.

So this awareness of my sins helps me to keep my focus on not repeating the same mistakes.

One of the great Musar books Gates of Repentance helped me to see the importance of discovering what mistakes I have done. But to actually determine the exact sins, takes a lot more that just picking out what at first glance might seem to be wrong.

 There is clearly some sort of obligation to walk in the ways of one's parents, [note 1] but it hard to know how far this goes-especially in cases where one's innate talents are not the same as one's parents. And Western society in definitely based on the idea of one finding his or her talents and going in that direction.  Nor is there any concept in the West of doing both. Rather the way the West works in one person for one job. So how does one decide? I myself was in this sort of predicament, not having the same set of talents as my father. But I have tried somehow to walk the fine line between  the areas where he excelled [STEM] and my own interests Gemara, and Tosphot.

So what comes out for me is more or less along the lines of Torah with Derech Eretz/work. A Balance between Physics and Math and the Avi Ezri of Rav Shach  But I admire the great Litvak sages like the Gra, and Rav Shach who were able to devote all their time to Torah learning. Just that I never managed to succeed in that direction for reasons unknown tome.

[note 1] If you do not walk in the path of your parents, you are dishonoring them by definition.

But war is no answer. Rather the USA must say to both sides that they must sit down together and negotiate a peace deal.

The people of Ukraine were extremely kind to me. In the end I had to get back to Israel, but I feel that sticking up for the Ukraine makes a lot of sense. There might be some hot heads, but the vast majority of people there really have great hearts and a spirit of kindness.

But war is no answer. Rather the USA must say to both sides that they must sit down together and negotiate a peace deal.  [This is not my original idea. I heard it on a Tom Woods program. But I present it here because it makes a lot of sense.

the Litvak world is right about the primary importance of learning Torah,

 Even  though I feel the Litvak world is right about the primary importance of learning Torah, תלמוד תורה כנגד כולם that is not to say that I had the greatest time in the Litvak world. The best idea is not to put anyone on a pedestal. The admirable thong about the Litvak world the refusal to admit all of the false doctrines that people claim for Torah are true. Thankfully, they are insistent about straight Torah. But being human means that they do not always [or even very often] measure up to the standards of Torah. Even the roshei yeshivot are flawed human beings -as are the rest of us. But still they refuse to let in all the many insanities  of the religious world.

In every discipline there is the authentic true way, and the host of armies of falsehood that surround it that pretend to authenticity even though they are phonies- pseudo Torah.

This problem could have been avoided if people had been aware of the signature of the Gra on the famous letter of excommunication. But due to lack of faith in the wise, that is ignored

There is a series of positive values, and in every area of value there is a Sitra Achra-a Dark Side which imitates that value, but in fact just to to use the real to justify the phony  however I admit that I think of Rav Nahman as a great tzadik and this approach of the Gra should not be taken as a criticism of him.

[Even though learning Torah is an obligation on everyone,  this is often misunderstood. The Rambam wrote "Just as one is not allowed to add or subtract from the Written Law, So one is not allowed to add or subtract from the Oral Law." So only the books of the sages of the Mishna and Gemara count as "Torah". But I should also mention that learning these books counts as learning Torah, so when one learns Tosphot he is "learning Torah" 

I might mention here that i just noticed today a few books that have come out in the litvak world that are pretty good. I only asked my son Izhak at the end of his life to send to me the Avi Ezri, but now I see there are some other really great books out there-- the Birchat Shmuel, the Kehilat Yaakov by the Stipler, Even Haazel, and even nowadays there seem to be some pretty decent roshei yeshiva. Of course these are all along the lines of Reb Chaim of Brisk. But I do miss my great learning partner David Bronson whose path in learning is more along the lines of an electron microscope, but I have not been able to get to that kind of depth myself, nor have I seen any book that approaches that kind of depth. Still these other books in the Litvak world are very impressive. [i tried to capture some of the depththat i saw in david bronson  in my little book on bava metzia and also my other book on shas, but nothing can compare to hearing it from the first source]  

Gitin page 47. The way the Keseph Mishna understands the Rambam.

 It is a startling fact that I realized on my way to the sea.  It is this, the meaning of יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות (an idolater has the power to take away the obligation of truma and tithes)[i.e., if he owns land in Israel, that land is not obligated in truma and tithes.]] is an argument between Tosphot and the Rambam-as far as the Keseph Mishna understands the Rambam. For in Gitin page 47 we have the argument if יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות (an idolater has the power to take away the obligation of truma and tithes) or if not. The way Tosphot understands this is that even an idolater can have possession of land in Israel still, that does not make it not Israel anymore. And the Rambam might agree. But the way the Keseph Mishna understands the Rambam, if the law was that an idolater has the power to take away the obligation of truma and tithes, that means the land itself becomes not Israel [and has to be reconquered]. How do you see this? In this way: the Rambam says if an idolater buys land in Israel the land does not become not Israel but when the Israeli buys it back, the land is obligated in truma and tithe. The Keseph Mishna comments on this: Even though it seems in many places in Shas that the law is יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות (an idolater has the power to take away the obligation of truma and tithes) still the Rambam holds that is not the law. Or that that is the law only when the land is in the possession of the idolater. So we see the Keseph Mishna understands the Rambam to mean that the opinion יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות (an idolater has the power to take away the obligation of truma and tithes) if an idolater buys land in Israel the land does not become not Israel

 גיטין דף מ''ז The meaning of יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות  is an argument between תוספות and the רמב''ם,  as the כסף משנה understands the רמב''ם. For in גיטין דף מ''ז we have the argument if יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות or if not. The way תוספות understands this is that even an idolater can have possession of land in Israel still, that does not make it not Israel anymore. And the רמב''ם might agree. But the way the כסף משנה understands the רמב''ם, if the law was that יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות, that means the land itself becomes not Israel [and has to be reconquered]. How do you see this? In this way: the רמב''ם says if an idolater buys land in Israel the land does not become not Israel but when the Israeli buys it back, the land is obligated in תרומה and tithe. The כסף משנה comments on this: Even though it seems in many places in ש''ס that the law is יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות still the רמב''ם holds that is not the law. Or that that is the law only when the land is in the possession of the idolater. So we see the משנה understands the רמב''ם to mean that the opinion יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות if an idolater buys land in Israel the land does not become not Israel

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גיטין דף מ''ז הפירוש של יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות הוא ויכוח בין תוספות לרמב''ם, כפי שמבין הכסף משנה את הרמב''ם. כי בגיטין דף מ''ז יש לנו את הטיעון אם יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות או אם לא. הדרך שתוספות מבינים זאת היא שאפילו שעובד אלילים יכול להחזיק בקרקע בישראל, זה לא הופך אותה לא להיות ארץ ישראל יותר. והרמב''ם אולי יסכים. אבל איך שהכסף משנה מבין את הרמב''ם, אם החוק היה שיש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות, זה אומר שהארץ עצמה הופכת לא להיות ישראל [וצריך לכבוש אותה מחדש]. איך אתה רואה את זה? באופן זה: הרמב''ם אומר אם עובד אלילים קונה קרקע בישראל זה לא הופך האדמה לא להיות ישראל אבל כשהישראלי קונה אותה בחזרה, חייבת הקרקע בתרומה ובמעשר. הכסף משנה מעיר על כך: למרות שנראה בהרבה מקומות בש''ס שהדין יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות עדיין הרמב''ם קובע שזה לא הדין. או שכך הדין רק כשהארץ ברשותו של עובד האלילים. אז אנחנו רואים שהכסף משנה מבין את הרמב''ם שהדעת יש קניין לעכו''ם בארץ ישראל להפקיע מידי תרומה ומעשרות אם עובד אלילים קונה קרקע בישראל האדמה לא הופכת לא ארץ ישראל.

When I was in need, it was never the people I had thought would be for me. Rather it was always the Ukrainians that came to help me.

 On my first Rosh Hashanah in Uman the fellow I was sharing a room [note 1] with left to go pray at the ziun but I was very sick. For some reason, the stress and strain of the trip go to me and i had a high fever and could barely move. Still the fellow I was with could not have cared less. It was specifically the Ukrainian owners of the apartment that looked and saw I was sick and brought medicine and food for me. 

This is just one incident of many along these lines, but I thought I should at least write down one event like this to let people know, that I found the people in Ukraine to be exceptionally kind to me.  

When I was in need, it was never the people I had thought would be for me. Rather it was always the Ukrainians that came to help me.  

Friends I had in Ukraine were real friends--people i could rely on in all circumstances. And this was not just friends be just ordinary people. So I would like to suggest that the Ukraine ought to be supported.

 Even the criminal elements were never that criminal. But I had to leave to get back home to Israel. But i still have fond memories of the amazing people that I met in Ukraine.  

[note 1] The room was in  a large apartment building right next to the grave of Rav Nahman