I thought to mention that my mother in law, Mrs. Rita Finn was on the Kinder-transport that her parents sent her on to save her from the Nazis. But though being saved, she was severely abused in England which gave her a lifelong hatred of men. Still she struggled to be a good wife and raise good children--which she did. After all the only reason my wife got married to me was that I was at Shar Yashuv --an authentic Litvak Yeshiva and she could feel and sense the taste of authentic Torah.
It is sad that the difficulties that people go through can end up defining them.
But I do not think there is any cure for this sort of thing. People's emotional wounds can be much deeper than physical wounds.
Still I do have one suggestion, Musar. That is the idea of Rav Israel Salanter to learn the canonical four books of ethics, חובות לבבות מסילת ישרים שערי תשובה אורחות צדיקים for learning the right attitudes can go a long way to reliving one from the burden of harmful attitudes.
her daughter Paula (leah) Finn was wife for me for ten years and gave birth to good children--in particular my son Izhak who was a hidden gem that no one appreciated. He saw the importance of the Gra in the importance of learning in Torah and the seven wisdoms in depth and also bekiut [fast learning by saying the words and going on and then review] He knew the importance of the Land of Israel and the state of Israel and the importance of serving in the Israeli Defense Force