Honor of ones parents means to walk in their ways and to obey them as Confucius saw clearly. How could one possibly think  that he is honoring his (or her) parents while not listening to them? And what I must add is important about this? It is that ones inner light comes from the mother and the outer protective light comes from the father. [As you can see in the Rav Isaac Luria in the Gate of Gilgulim (I think that is where I recall this from)]. So you might be more aware of your connection with your mother since that is inside of you and less aware of your connection with your father. After all the later only surrounds you as a sort of protective cover. [The connection with one's father only becomes apparent after he is not in this world any more. That is when the protective cover disappears.]

Thus, I see this emphasis on finding what is wrong in one's parents in the West as a sort of evil inclination. One of the obstacles one must face in order to find the way to do what is right.

 Religious leaders always emphasize how they know more than your parents. That is one reason why Rav Nahman said most religious leaders are "תלמידי חכמים שדיים יהודאיים"(Torah scholars that are demons).