My story is I started a little above average. I mean my family was wonderful. But I had some kind of internal need to discover the meaning of Life the Universe, and Everything Else. And that is bound to not end well. Almost by definition. With the amount gurus and scam artists that grow like mushrooms it is hard to imagine how such a search could end well. But my some quirk of fate  I did end up in two remarkable yeshivas in NY [Shar Yashuv in Far Rockaway and Mirrer in Brooklyn.] But the hammer hit the anvil and after all what is a good story without conflict? And mine is no different. Instead of getting the girl as every good story has, in mine I lost the girl and fell to the bottom of the well.
 So this is more about life in the bottom of the well. and when one is in the bottom of the well that is  interesting. The hobos and vagabonds like me love . Down here in foggy bottom. No one loves a loser. And so it is lonely down here. And yet in our misery we find encouragement

here are links to some music which I wrote for the glory of God.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B71pces179i2cGRZZVhRZERJOW8/view?usp=sharing

This needs editing towards the end



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This needs some editing.
But I can't convert anything to Midi. So I hope this version is OK.

Midi Files


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Mathematics




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l76I just found a way to put this here in Midi. [I pressed "export."]

Here is a link to some ideas called חידושי הש''ס

some ideas called חידושי הש''ס

I have to mention that this little booklet was not edited as much as  booklet on Bava Metzia.Which I think is obvious but still I think I should mention it because I hope that God will grant to me to go over it and do whatever corrections it probably needs 

But one thing hit home for me--the idea of finding the good in the bad days. He says that it is possible to find God everywhere. But what covers up the presence of God? Kelipot and evil. So how can one find God. By the Torah and by tzadikim.
But he mentions that that the Torah itself can be covered in kelipot.
He mentions a lot of themes in that chapter only briefly.

But this idea that the Torah itself can be covered in kelipot seems to me to make a lot of sense. Just because people are learning Torah one should not take that as proof that they are learning Torah. They might be learning the kelipot that the Torah has fallen into. Also there is the Torah of the Dark Side that I think might be confused with the real Torah.

The reason I say this is I have noticed a good number of people that


 have I think problems with דתיים--religious Jews. I think you could say I have had my own share of difficulties with them but I try to keep that to myself but when I hear or see others that seem to have had similar problems it strikes a chord in me. I think at one point to me everything was simple. Torah is Torah. The Oral and the Written Law and everyone should keep Torah and that is that. Now I think things are as simple. And it does not seem to me to be a matter of tweaking the variables. I know some people would like to do that, and say well you need to emphasis this thing or that etc. They come up with pat answers to what I think does not have pat answers.

The Muslim Dilemma.

The Muslim Dilemma. When good people are born into an evil religion what can they do?

I see this problem manifested in other ways. Sometimes it is not a religion as a whole that is bad but some aspects of it. Or political beliefs. The Democrats and Communists are  not bad hearted, but simply in their collage years got infatuated with Rousseau and Marx and after that you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

http://www.owl232.net/irrationality.htm

 God's Divinity is in everything. That is it is possible to find God everywhere.
This is subtle and some people get confused and think that this is pantheism. It is not that everything is Divine. Rather it is that God's Divinity is in everything. It  like if I say, "This cup contains water." That is not the same as, "This cup is water."

So  to find the divinity in things is by subduing ones evil inclination.
And when one does that, the Divinity in things and in ones own life start to shine.
The reason for this is that usually the Divinity in things is hidden. There are good days and bad days. And the evil in bad days covers up the good. But by subduing ones evil inclination that good that is hidden in the bad days becomes revealed.

And what is the evil inclination? Delusions. The evil inclination used to be in physical desires. and then there was a time it was not physical but manifested itself in anti Torah thoughts. Nowadays the evil inclination has abandoned those fields and is wholly in delusions.

http://www.offthegridnews.com/current-events/update-kentucky-10-mom-fights-back-against-bullies-criticizing-her-off-grid-life/


In home schooling I suggest in each subject to have  a fast session--just read the words and go on. And then an "in depth" session.

This is the official and established routine of every Lithuanian yeshiva from the day they were founded by Reb Chaim from Voloshin (the disciple of the Gra). It is not just my personal opinion.
The morning at the Mirrer Yeshiva in Brooklyn was devoted to in depth learning from 10 A.M. until the Rosh yeshiva's class which was an hour before the afternoon prayer. And then the afternoon was devoted to fast learning--Gemara, Rashi, Tosphot,--  not to spend too much time on any one thing, but just to read and go on.


Now every subject seems to have its own set of rules.When I was starting out in Talmud I read the paragraph of  Talmud and Rashi.--I just said the words without understanding a thing. Then I read the exact same paragraph in English with the Soncino translation. Again I understood nothing. And then I read again the same passage in the Talmud with Rashi and it all became clear.

This three step method when one is beginning seems to be helpful also in Mathematics. I would read the whole page forwards. And again I would understand nothing. Then I would read the page backwards. And again understand nothing. But then the third time I would read it again from the beginning and it would become clear.


So I think home schooling could be modeled on this method. And at least on Shabat I think people should stay home and learn Torah--if not the whole week. [There are two reasons to learn Torah at home on Shabbat. One is driving is forbidden on Shabat. The other is that often synagogues present more problems than they solve.]

Also I think home schooling is important in the USA where the schools have value until university.
I mean when I went to school in the USA things were different. The teachers were great and the system was great. But today home schooling is to be preferred.

[In the Ukraine and Russia I think thing are just the opposite. The schools up until collage seem to me to be  excellent. Then at the university levels things go haywire. Even when you try to fight corruption it seems to make things worse. They send in from the capital some inspector who does not know anything but looks at paper trails. And the most corrupt professor that openly takes bribes is the one professor who has taken the trouble to make sure his paper trail is clean. So the good professors get thrown out and the corrupt one becomes the director.


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